Category Archives: lyft

Uber/Lyft drivers just wanna be taxi drivers

If Uber is so cool and taxis are so lame, why do so many Uber drivers try to turn their cars into taxis?

pink-lyft-car-san-francisco

Used to see this one around for a while. Not so much anymore. Guess they got tired of being mascots for a lost cause.

uber-dressed-like-taxi

A few touches here are there to make sure the car is branded just right…

uber-car-airbrushed-logo

This guy is the chicken dinner winner of the dipshit Uber mascots. Willing to bet he’s since painted this over.

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Creepy Uber driver with a little Uber toplight.

me-love-uber-license-plate

Not sure what’s more pathetic, the personalized license plate advertising Uber or that the driver actually thinks people love Uber.

uber-driver-begging-for-tips

Even drivers who don’t brand their cars covet what taxi drivers get without question: tips. This guy is so desperate for them he’s willing to offer free water, phone chargers, jerk off cream and dental care.

uber-lyft-driver-top-light-silver-prius

The silver Prius with the SpoonRocket car topper placed like a taxi toplight. He was all over town for several months…

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Until he was eventually run out of town when confronted by a group of taxi drivers and the SFPD.

uber-taxi-pretend-placard-toplight

Whatever the fuck this guy is up to, he’s got all the bases covered.

uber-rainbow-splatter-pride

Company branding for SF Pride. Rainbow spots? Like a pox?

uber-self-driving-car-harrison

Uber’s “self-driving” cars are so desperate for attention…

self-driving-uber-taxi-autonomous

A self-driving car looks like a futuristic taxi… At some point, they’ll probably cover the sensors with ad boards. Because why not?

taxi-uber-lyft-halloween

For Halloween one year, I was a Lyft driver. It was scary. And all I did was confuse people.

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As Uber/Lyft drivers complete the transformation into half-assed taxi drivers , they’ll start refusing to provide service unless the circumstances are exactly to their liking, just like the taxi drivers did before Uber and Lyft, and the golden age of the passenger will come to a screeching halt. I think we can all agree on one thing: that day can’t come soon enough.

 

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SF Pride in all its splendor

windshield-taxi-drizzle-san-francisco-visibility

My column this week is about driving a taxi during Pride weekend.

On Saturday, The City is abuzz with gaiety. Market Street is like a jugular vein from Civic Center to the Castro. Traffic streams inbound and out. The sidewalks are crowded with partiers who stop at each bar and inquire, “Is this a gay bar?” To which the answer is always, “Yes!”

It is Pride weekend, after all.

pride-congestion-civic-center-san-francisco

People, people everywhere, but not a flag in sight.

In the doldrums, I try to stay optimistic. Around midnight, the phone networks become overloaded, forcing people to wander onto side streets and up 17th to get a connection so they can order their Ubers and Lyfts. Other people jump in taxis.

“Oh, thank you so much for taking me home! I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t been there.”

It feels good to be appreciated, however misguided.

Read the rest here.

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